By Steven Waterhouse

16 years ago England went into a tournament knowing that the man in charge, who everyone had pretty much had enough of, was jacking it all in. With this the FA scrambled frantically for a replacement and, when no suitable candidate was found, settled for second best. History, it seems, has a nasty way of repeating itself.

So, for Bobby Robson and Graham Taylor read Sven Goran Eriksson and Steve McClaren. That Robson left in a trail of glory after Italia '90 whilst Eriksson's England did what they always do in tournaments matters not. The burning issue here is that not since the man they call Turnip's reign have England looked so truly inept.

It was all so horribly familiar. So reminiscent of a disaster in Oslo on the way to England not participating in USA '94 when, from nowhere, Taylor switched to a catastrophic 5-3-2 formation that made a decent England team (Adams,Gascoigne, Sheringham, Platt) look awful. England lost 2-0. Last night a team featuring some of the word's best players had absolutely no idea what they were doing what so ever. You could almost feel sorry for them. Too early for those alarm bells you're hearing? Another defeat of this ilk must lead to the FA actually sacking someone for football reasons for the first time since you know who or risk not going to a major tournament for the first time since….yeah, you get the picture.

One must wonder what exactly what McClaren was thinking (and, for that matter, Terry Venables); At 31 Gary Neville has had a pretty good career at right back- 10 years as first choice for the world's biggest club and for England will testify to this. With that in mind, best play him as a right winger away to a team that have never lost a qualifier at home, yeah? Scott Parker's doing pretty much what Jermaine Jenas used to do at Newcastle, so he'll be an ample substitute for the oh-so-sorely missed Owen Hargreaves. Frank Lampard hasn't played well for his country in 12 months so we'll give him a free role- he deserves it…..it goes on.

Admittedly England were missing some key players (who back in June would have thought Arron Lennon could be so vital to Team England?), David Beckham among them. However, at 2-0 last night the manager bought on a striker yet to score from open play this season in Jermaine Defoe, and two wingers who don't play club football in Shaun Wright-Phillips and Kieran Richardson. Collectively they must currently be feeling about as confident as Paul Robinson waiting for a Gary Neville back pass*.

John Terry and Ashley Cole acted like a couple of Sunday League defenders when they were losing, kicking the opposition immaturely. Cole misses the next difficult away trip to Israel. He'll also miss a few games for Chelsea judging by the way he crawled around the pitch for the last, embarrassing 20 minutes.

Croatia were a team everyone always had a soft spot for thanks to their heroic escapades and the wonderful football they played at Euro '96 and France '98. If Slaven Bilic, Robert Prosinecki et al were dancing on the sidelines at anyone else's demise it would have almost been a pleasure to watch…

Oh, and Croatia weren't really that good last night.

Ho hum...

*Robinson WAS excellent last night apart from that bobble. Let us hope he isn't made a scapegoat.